this is how i feel

i have not built a wall of protection around me. i let anything and everything come into my mind through my eyes and my ears. i take it all in. and it all influences me. i dont know if im ready to not let that happen anymore. just being honest. dont know if im ready to confess repent and forgive. confess the sin of hatred. bitterness. anger. toward myself. toward others. repent of all of this by leaving it at the cross. forgive myself. others. for the wrongs that have been committed against me. by myself. by others.

 

i think i like being angry. anger and bitterness satisfy in their own uniquely twisted way. in my mind i am vindicated in my anger. bitterness. hatred. to give it up means i am wrong. i am not wrong. damn it. 

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