Today

I am deeply dissatisfied with my employment. there is no excitement to complete a project or even begin something new. This used to provide at least a small amount of pleasure. This is also deeply unsettling. I bide my time each day. It is only 1:10 p.m., and I feel a very real sense of dread to spend the remainder of the day in such a fashion as I have just described. I did not go out to lunch with coworkers due to a deficiency in funds. I ate at my desk. My desk. It is quite disheveled and could use a good cleaning. But, then we are back to the dissatisfaction. The primary side effect of the dissatisfaction is lethargy. I do because I must not because I love or feel a connection to. The veritable life is being both literally and metaphorically extracted from within me. What am I to do, you ask. This haunting question follows me like a new puppy desiring love. I do not, however, want to pay it any attention. Yet on the other hand I cannot help but think of it constantly. The weight of my confliction is becoming most unbearable.

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